One Pretentious Bastard

Teh Gnu Blog

Its more customizable than Blogger--but I have yet to customize it. Good job me.

Labels: blog, customizable, wordpress

posted by Pretentious Bastard @ 6/02/2007 04:55:00 PM

For Jackie

My dear, sweet, wonderful and caring sister has stated that she thinks that, given my job (let alone any other issues in my life), I should talk to some type of counselor. I am not opposed to this. I have seen counselors before after particularly traumatizing events (exceptionally bad break ups and death in my family). Right now I don't think I need to go see one; however, In order to show Jackie that I value her opinion, I will now write up how the first session would go.

Counselor (C): Marty, very nice meeting you. Sorry about all the paperwork, but that's the price of managed care (small chuckle). So, can you tell me what brings you here?

Me (M): (Scans the room for certificates, awards and) Sure, but i have a few questions first.

C: (Non-plussed) Sure, fire away.

M: Thanks, can you tell me a little bit about your therapeutic approach?

C: What do you mean?

M: You know, what sort of theroies of personality you subscribe to, your methodology in regards to to treatment. Cognitive Behavioral, psychodynamic, biological?

C: Ah, I subscribe mostly to a CBT approach, with a few other philosophies thrown in for good measure. Why do you ask?

M: Because if you said Psychodynamic or hinted at Freudian crap, I would have walked out right away. (here I smile to show that I'm kind of kidding) Anyway, I have a few more questions. Have you ever worked with kids with sexual behavior problems.

C: I've worked with victims before--were you victimized as

M: Nope. I just work the abusers. Since you've worked with victims, do you have any experience at helping others develop better self-care plans?

C: Not particularly, no, but I do have my own plan.

M: Well, thats something we could talk about.

C: Do you need help with work issues.

M: That's only part of it. Do you have any experience at grief counseling?

C: A little bit. My, I've never been asked so many questions before. Have you seen a counselor before?

M: Yup. I'll sign the release so you guys can compare notes if she has any--I'd go back to her if it wasn't back in suburbia. I am looking for places closer to work and home.

C: Well that's entirely understandable. What did you processes with her?

M: Grief issues, mild depression, a terrible relationship and a little bit of secondary trauma.

C: How did it work out?

M: Well, fine I supppose. It lasted for maybe 15 months. The death of my father kicked it off; my mom's death and the horrible engagement I was in extended it.

C: I'm sorry for your loss--how long ago did they pass away.

M: My mom passed away in sept. of 05, my dad June of 03. It hasn't gotten any easy, I just have better ways of coping.

C: And you said you were engaged.

M: Yeah, that was a bad idea. It didn't work out--and we just brought out the worst in each other. She meant well and I loved her more than anyone--but she could only handle things by being, well, abusive.

C: I see. What do you mean

M: (Stare). I am not comfortable talking about that right now. this is just an intake--to see if we're a fit as client and counselor. Nothing personal, but, I can only talk to one person about this right now. ITs been two years and I'm still a bit upset about it.

C: I understand, take your time. What are the other things you might need to talk about?

M: Lets see. Failed relationship that still bugs me and, on occasion, complicates my attempts to date other people. I miss my parents terribly. My job is draining--on every possible front--and it gets more complicated every day. My brother and sister and law thing I'm a whiney little bi--I mean brat. I also want to go back to school, but I don't feel like i have moxie, wherewithal, support or brain power to do it. I also feel rather bitter about life in general. That about covers it.

C: I sure we would have a lot to talk about then.

M: Oh, I know we do. But what is that going to accomplish? Seriously, talking to an independent and non-judgmental would be good for me, but I think I know what I need to do?

C: Then why aren't you doing it?

M: Good question. I'm not entirely sure that talking to you about it, or talking to anyone else particularly, will help me out either.

C: But, and I'm sure you know this, talking things out can be helpful.

M: I whole-heartedly believe this. AT the same time, I feel so pressured to get things together and have a great life--and to be honest, there isn't anything you can tell me that I can't direct myself to do or find--I feel that this may be a waste of time.

C: Did you feel that about your otehr counselors?

M: The psychodynamic one that wanted to talk about my dad, yeah. The grief therapist, not at all. But I only started seeing her when I was at my wits end. I've got a few months left before I feel that way.

C: But why wait?

M: Because I think i can do this on my own and with the support I have. I just need to do more and not burden my brother and sister-in-law.

C: Do you often feel like a burden?

M: (Stare). Oh gee. Its been a clinical hour. I'll schedule a follow up next week. Thanks.

Labels: converation, counseling, satire, self talk, therapist, therapy

posted by Pretentious Bastard @ 5/19/2007 04:38:00 PM

Lists

I am not fond of to-lists (hereafter referred to as Lists). Every time I make one I am compelled to go into obsessive detail about each and every item. Given the number of details, each objective becomes more difficult to attain. In about five objectives, i am overwhelmed and i give up on the list. For example, in this post, I am giving up on punctuation and proper capitalization.

I am doing this becasue I am old and tired. Old, tired and thinking about making a new list. This list, unlike most of my lists, would be public. It will also be manageable.

Part of this list will include kicking Chuck in the nuts. Don't get me wrong, I like Chuck a lot, but reminding me to blog in the comments has earned him a nut-kicking.

Labels: go to hell chuck, list, productive

posted by Pretentious Bastard @ 5/12/2007 10:30:00 PM

Bored

You Are Mud Pie

You're the perfect combo of flavor and depth Those who like you give into their impulses

posted by Pretentious Bastard @ 4/24/2007 09:45:00 PM

April 25

It isn't 4/20 or 4/24 but 4/25. It strikes me as odd that I can't remember anyone's birthday. There are notable exceptions:

Jack: 7/4
Tony: 4/3
Jackie: 4/2
Mom: 7/20
me: 7/14
Canuk: 7/16


I can narrow a few people down to a few days too:

q: 6/14-6/16
Zach: 7/12 or 7/13
Will: 8/28 or 8/29


That's it. I can't remember my godchildren's, friends, or cousins' birthdays. I should write them all in one of my many address books...but I keep forgetting to do that too.

What bugs me is that I forgot my Dad's birthday. I didn't miss it--it's wednesday--but I forgot it. To make up for this, I'm trying to remember a story about my dad. One that I haven't written down before.

-
I can't think of one that I'd like to share. Tonight, I'm keeping those memories to myself.

Labels: birthdays, family, memories

posted by Pretentious Bastard @ 4/24/2007 12:41:00 AM

Because we, as American's, are Fat, Lazy and Stupid...

Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
- George Bernard Shaw


On the other blog (the link is around here somewhere) I am doing more than writing quotes...but today is a nice day in chicago, and I am going to go for a walk and rent power tools to liberate my bike.

posted by Pretentious Bastard @ 4/22/2007 12:07:00 PM

What about Willful Ignorance?

A little learning is a dangerous thing but a lot of ignorance is just as bad.
- Bob Edwards

I propose the following addendum: that willfull ignorance is worse.

Labels: bob edwards, ignorance, quote

posted by Pretentious Bastard @ 4/20/2007 04:17:00 PM

Quotes

We need not to be let alone. We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real?

Ray Bradbury (1920 - ), Fahrenheit 451, 1953

posted by Pretentious Bastard @ 4/16/2007 08:10:00 PM